just revising my spanish
buenas dias, graçias
went to italy last month
where it was buongiorno, grazie
so easy to mix them up
sometimes I remember
the odd bit of latin – bello, war
but bella means beautiful
my latin teacher was so skilful
he could hit someone with a board rubber
right across the room, chalk flying
in a dusty rainbow
at the end of term
he played three students at chess
whilst teaching the rest
I lived in love lane then
amore, amor, amour
maybe I’ll stick to french
The man you were in love with 30 years before
is late picking you up from the station.
You wonder if he’s coming at all.
Then he’s there,
eyes still unfeasibly blue,
hair a little greyer.
You visit him at the bookshop
where he works,
pretend to be a customer browsing,
see him at the till,
feel jealous of all the other customers
meeting him for the first time.
While he’s out,
you buy meat, coriander,
sesame oil, assorted veg,
to make a fragrant stir-fry
for his return,
as if you’d spent your lives together.
That night you’re sitting on his bed.
He’s reading a poem you’ve written.
You sense the pressure of his thigh,
the question behind his eyes.
Your younger self begins to fall,
your older self smiles and shifts away.
It feels like death this absurd desire.
Pushing and pulling all life within, Until nothing but ashes of lust remain.
Nothing is given yet this willing native pulls all her life apart for a glimpse of undiluted desire.
Selfish and hollow this life can offer nothing but a cold pillow or an empty promise ignored and bloated a shallow glimpse of a life that belongs to someone else.
Dilemma is haunting her the ashes of it clog up the air
But nothing can release her from from its suffocation
I will not put my hand in the mouth of the wolf,
though worlds should rue it were I not,
the noble sacrificial soul, to give my all
and curse them not.
My banners hang in tatters still
about the hall of blood and honour,
though courage fails my passion still
remembers love, a time when flesh
meant more than power.
I have fought dragons too long,
I know that now too late to change
the morrow; the dawn when dreams
will fade and light reveal, the warrior
fled, the woman draped in sorrow.
A whisper across the ocean
Fills my heart with hope
A care I never imagined
A love I feared never existed.
We slowly approach a future
We never dared dream of
The thought of it is enough
To keep our souls beating as one.
A glimpse at tomorrow
Scares and yet ignites us
The first embrace so desired
A life, so deserved.
The birds chirp as she sits in the tall, dying grass
The tips of it brush her cheek as she looks into the sky.
The end of her yellow, fading dress flaps in her lap,
As her mind races and her stomach churns.
She doesn’t have much time left to choose her future.
Will she marry a man she doesn’t love, or suffer the consequences if she doesn’t.
A tear slips down her soft, red cheek.
Does she even have a choice?
The sky darkens and rain drops fall from intimidating black clouds. Her muddy toes curl as a sickly feeling washes over her.
Its marriage, or death.